Re: Empathy and honesty
Posted: Wed Jan 15, 2020 9:37 pm
This conversation may be over, but I thought to try and quickly contribute something to it, even if only for myself, as was thinking about something similar to this earlier in the week.
Ultimately, I don't agree that there is necessarily a compromise between being honest as well as empathic.
My understanding of empathy is about being aware, considerate and ready to share in the experience of someone else, but not to deny them of truth or that experience of it, just because we believe that they are not ready for it. There may well be situations where we judge the most empathic thing to do is to be silent or withhold certain information, but I think it is rare that the latter is ever the case. The crux is in our preparation for their reaction and willingness to offer what they may need as a result.
There is a danger of seeking control and power over someone if we think of empathy as a filter. Instead I think empathy should be considered a reaction.
I am deliberately trying to avoid using the word 'understanding' when speaking about this, even though it feels natural to do so when speaking of empathy, because I don't believe that we can ever truly understand anyone else - at least not their sufferings - we can only empathise with them.
Ultimately, I don't agree that there is necessarily a compromise between being honest as well as empathic.
My understanding of empathy is about being aware, considerate and ready to share in the experience of someone else, but not to deny them of truth or that experience of it, just because we believe that they are not ready for it. There may well be situations where we judge the most empathic thing to do is to be silent or withhold certain information, but I think it is rare that the latter is ever the case. The crux is in our preparation for their reaction and willingness to offer what they may need as a result.
There is a danger of seeking control and power over someone if we think of empathy as a filter. Instead I think empathy should be considered a reaction.
I am deliberately trying to avoid using the word 'understanding' when speaking about this, even though it feels natural to do so when speaking of empathy, because I don't believe that we can ever truly understand anyone else - at least not their sufferings - we can only empathise with them.